Category: Parenting

Posted in Parenting

First Year Must-Haves

Posted on by holyhomestead

Having a new baby is exciting in so many ways! There are so many amazing items on the market these days and every year they come out with more items to make things easier and help your developing baby! Creating a registry for the first time can be daunting though with all the options, at least it was for me. Even with the input of other moms, there is still a lot of trial and error. Although we had experience raising children, from infant to teen years, not every child is the same and they do not all find interest in the same items. Thankfully Amazon makes it easy to exchange unused items you received off your registry! I would like to share some of our little koala baby’s favorites from her first trip around the sun. These are items that we attempted with our youngest:

Sleeping Baby

First of all, we bed-shared from day one. I know this is taboo to some and there are all the “safe sleep” studies out there. I can not stress this enough: you need to do what feels natural and right for YOUR family. Sometimes this means putting your baby in their own room to sleep, sometimes this means Mom sleeps in a separate room with baby while Dad has his own sleeping quarters, but for those like us it means Mom, Dad, and Baby all share the same bed. Baby and I slept on cloth pads for the first few months so I wouldn’t leak milk all over the sheets until things regulated. We tried many swaddles and found that arms up swaddle was the best for us because it allowed a comfortable position to sleep and they offer different TOGs for all seasons and temperatures. Having a “side car” crib has been helpful for many others; we have such a small space that I ended up just using a bed rail which has worked really well for us because I don’t move much in my sleep.

Keeping Your Mobility

Because our daughter never wanted to be put down, the most important thing for me was a comfortable carrier to keep my hands free as much as possible. I used a few different styles, depending on what we were doing. In the first few months, I preferred a wrap so I tried the Baby K’tan and a Moby but baby and I would sweat so bad because the material was so thick. We switched to an off-brand Moby-style and absolutely loved it! By about 4 months old, her neck control was pretty good and I switched to a more structured carrier. I was given a Infantino carrier which worked great, but my all time favorite was one I was randomly blessed with by a local mom group; the Lulebaby. This was by far my favorite carrier to use every day. By 10 months, our daughter was walking and didn’t want to be in the carriers anymore so I was happy to bless the next family when we passed it on to another new mom in the area. We still carry a Tush Baby in the car when we leave the house just in case, but we don’t use it often anymore. It is very convenient with the pockets to not need a separate diaper bag to just run into the store quickly.

Baby On The Go

Our koala baby happens to HATE being strapped into her car seat, which is very unfortunate because road trips and traveling are Mom and Dad’s favorite pass-time. We use the Graco car seat, Graco base and Graco stroller. We also have a Graco Slim car seat as a backup which works really well for a quick installation and removal option if we need to get into a different vehicle. There are many on the market now and while I have seen some amazing travel sets, I just feel that they are over priced for what it is when Graco makes great product at a more reasonable price, and they are only used for a short while. Uppababy would be a great all-in-one and we may have gone that route if we planned on having more kids in the future to get more use out of their functions. We tried some car seat toys and had no luck with them, so we opted out of any back seat toys. We did however get a mirror with temperature display and it has been phenomenal.

Home Entertainment

Our koala baby only finds entertainment while engaged with Mom or Dad. That dictated which toys were a hit in our home. I would also like to point out that manufacturers will put age ranges on their toys, these are more of a general guideline and are not going to apply to all babies. Our daughter played with toys above the marked age ranges, you just have to make smart choices and be present for safe playing.
Here were some of our favorites through the first year:

0-3 Months

At this age, we focused mostly on tummy time and bonding with Mom and Dad.

3-6 Months

Our daughter had pretty good head control by 3 months old, thanks to all the tummy time, so we started working on sitting up during this age range and she liked the cause-and-effect type toys.

6-9 Months

By 6 months, our daughter was crawling and she loved anything that had music.

9-12 Months

Music continued to be a favorite so we got anything that had cause and effect with music. She was walking assisted around 9 months and we used a Fisher Price push walker that had her walking unassisted by 10 months old. Some may walk sooner and others later, but I highly suggest a push style walker over a seated ones so they learn to walk without sitting.

Anything that is not an actual “toy” but is safe to play with, such as plastic bowls and mixing spoons, are a huge hit too!

Bonus Items

I highly suggest getting the memorabilia items! I was a little hesitant at first because they were not “necessities” but I knew if I didn’t I would regret it later. My favorite are the Luna Bean casting kit and some baby-safe ink pads!

Share with us some of your babies favorite first year toys and those must-have items that made the first year adjustments easier!

Posted in Parenting

Love Requires Discipline

Posted on by holyhomestead

Not every child learns the same way. We have come to accept this as truth when it comes to school or academics, we know there are visual learners, auditory learners, kinaesthetic learners, etc. Yet for some reason we have a hard time wrapping our heads around the fact that it goes for everything in our lives, including how we discipline our children and expect them to learn what is correct or acceptable behavior. Discipline is not a one-size fits all, the methods that work with your first child may not work with your other children. Many times you can find yourself using a combination of two or more methods, depending on the situation.

There are 5 main styles of discipline. Positive discipline uses praise and encouragement rather than punishment. This keeps the focus on teaching problem-solving skills and helps the child develop solutions on their own. Gentle discipline relies on preventing problems from occurring, with the intention of redirecting the child away from bad behavior. Boundary-based discipline requires setting limits and clear rules upfront with predetermined consequences for misbehavior. Behavior modification would use both positive and negative consequences, as appropriate. Good behavior would be praised and rewarded, while bad behavior has negative consequences. Finally, emotion coaching focuses on teaching kids about their feelings and understanding how to express their feelings rather than acting on them. The child is taught that it is okay to have their feelings and what are appropriate ways to handle their emotions.

The one thing that IS consistent with ALL children though, they require a proper balance of discipline AND love. You can’t truly have one without the other and too much of either is harmful to your child. When your child feels loved, they will be more receptive of your rules and discipline; with the appropriate level of discipline, they will know you love and care about them. Sometimes the scales are tipped and you find yourself showing your children with love and shying away from the discipline because ultimately it is “easier”. This can make a child spoiled and in return, even if they don’t realize in the moment, they will not feel that you care about them. On the other extreme, too much discipline that isn’t balanced with love will be emotionally damaging to the child and ultimately drive them away. There is a misconception sometimes that you are making your child “tough” with your decision to hold back showering affection and love. It can also be difficult to discipline your child sometimes and definitely not fun, especially while they are going through the developmental stages and testing their boundaries. I promise, a proper balance and consistency is key and will all be worth it when they are older.

It’s never too late to start balancing your tactics; however, it will be more difficult if it was not done from the beginning of their lives. As long as you are consistent with your rules and there are consequences for breaking said rules, your child will recognize what is expected of them and what is acceptable behavior. For a consequence to be effective, they should be guiding and teaching and should be delivered in a loving way. It is best to get to a child’s level and explain to them exactly what they did that was unacceptable behavior and tell them what the consequence is for doing wrong. It can also be helpful, while they are learning, to tell them what they could have done instead that would have been acceptable behavior. Demonstrating appropriate behavior is especially important in the infant and toddler stages; you are setting the foundations of your child’s behavior for years to come.

A truly beautiful child-parent relationship will consist of a careful balance of reasonable strictness and unconditional love and acceptance. Regardless of the methods of discipline you adopt, consistency is the key to success and a healthy relationship.

For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.

Proverbs 3:12